Sunday Ramble #6
After which I rot in bed for the rest of my life (?)
It’s not good.
My country decided to bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran so it’s been nice knowing ya.
Even before that 6 members of its Supreme Court decided to start murdering trans kids (the official cause of death will be suicide, but it’s murder) by saying it’s totally fine to deny them the care they need even if the parents are good. So much for parents’ rights! Only when it serves the conservative agenda. Liberals have the same problem with bodily autonomy, by the way…if you’re a person and enclosed within another person you have no bodily autonomy, according to them.
I can’t really stand either conservatives or liberals. Maybe there are some Greens somewhere that are like “all life is sacred and humans should protect it regardless of its origin vs. exploit it for their own selfish interests” but there always seems to be this abortion fetish and I don’t like it.
Also I did Cologuard and it came back positive, so I have to do the colonoscopy I tried to avoid in the first place.
My therapist is about to fire me. He apparently doesn’t want to validate if I’m looking good in more feminine outfits or not, only cares that I managed to buy some stuff from Goodwill? And studied gender & queer studies but isn’t really a “gender” therapist and suggests I find someone for that through the gender clinic? The hell am I even seeing him for then?
Therapists all suck. I swear.
There’s this article "I've Forgotten How to Live a Normal Life": Understanding Functional Freeze After Trauma by Ellen Tift and honestly? A ton of that crap applies.
It’s probably amazing I function at all between stuff that happened at home, school, work, therapists. I think I’m evolving from fight to freeze since fight is never very effective…
As you can imagine I spent much of Thursday (Juneteenth day off from work) and Saturday in bed. Actually right on schedule for the weird 25-26 day cycles I’m seeing that don’t really make sense. Not on hormones, don’t have the female parts, why would that happen? Another thing unanswered. Of course Saturday just HAD to be Pride and of course I didn’t go.
Looking for positives: Tote bags are now GOATed. Pockets? Nah. Put everything I might possibly need in my INDUSTRIAL MUSEUMS FOR INDUSTRIAL PEOPLE! tote bag. (Bonus: Putting everything in a bag is a femme thing to do)
This is definitely not a paid ad! BUT if anyone out there ever goes to Chicago you can visit Martin Atkins over at
Museum of Post Punk and Industrial Music
He’s done some stuff, seen some stuff, has some stuff, will let you listen to some stuff.
And also find the Pope’s childhood home not so far away in Dolton! Or not.
I successfully got Amanda to help me with the colonoscopy (getting to & from because of sedation, it’s basically illegal to do it myself). Before that we’ll hit the farmers’ market in a few weeks (her weekends are busy).
She never has asked me for anything or reached out to me about anything yet. I wish she would. I want to feel needed too?
Anyway, bye, I had a scone and coffee and I’m supposed to lose weight & eat healthy but I really want 2nd breakfast today (stress/emotional eating :-( ) Actually, I can eat healthier because I harvested some lettuce and one kohlrabi. My Cherokee Purples just keep getting bigger and refusing to change color! So no tomatoes yet.
OK, now byeee!